A New Year no new me

So as the new year was approaching my friends were all getting ready to go out, I was happily sat on the sofa with a decaf latte, reading my book, thinking how times change. Last year I was newly diagnosed and prepared for a fight. I was going to eat healthier, keep running and continue with my pursuit of alternative therapies. It started well but gradually as the year wore on more of these things fell by the wayside until now the only thing left on the list is reflexology. I can’t help but think it must have something to do with the extremely large doses of brain chemistry altering drugs including gabapentin, epilim and duloxetine that I take mixed with the disease modifiers firstly Avonex, then tecfidera. Some days I feel like I actually do not know if I’m up or down or left or right! I can’t think straight.  I am waiting to have my follow up brain and spinal scans later this month which I can’t wait to see. I must be weird but find it fascinating to see pictures of the inside of myself!

The greatest things to come from last year had to be my ever loyal friends standing beside me as shoulders to cry on and ears to listen. Just when I feel very low, somebody rings or texts with a lovely message or takes me out for coffee. Two of my very bestest friends even took me away on holiday to East Sussex for a week where we laughed until we ached. Latterly this year another friend put me forward to do some house sitting at a beautiful cottage in the heart of Devon where I am right now writing this. I really enjoy doing this as it is something I can still do.

So this year ahead is going to hold no expectations for me as I am finding I need to more and more go with this condition rather than fight against it. I still only want to spend time with my favourite people and hope we all get as much time together as possible. I have started to suffer with some cognitive difficulties with memory and losing abilities which used to come easy like maths just when my boys need me to be on the ball to help them. Life just isn’t fair.

We now have dear Lily the black Labrador pup, she is going to be keeping me walking, without pulling me over I hope! She is a lovely girl and a great addition to the family.

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We are now part of her Wolfpack and I am sure she will guard us well (if she doesn’t lick the thief to death first!) I am reading “Game of Thrones” at the moment and found a great quote “let me tell you something about wolves child. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm and share our strengths.”

positive thought: protect each other

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